He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
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