I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
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