My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
Randomize
