The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
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