Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
Randomize
