I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
Randomize
