I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
