Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
where am i from again
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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