upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
