Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
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