I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize
