did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
