its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
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