just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
Randomize
