Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
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