my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
