P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Randomize
