I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
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