Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
Are we still banned from the library?
Woke up next to a tiki torch spooning a plastic flamingo on a welcome mat i've never seen before with a "happy valentines day" balloon tied to my wrist, oh yeah and "i am a cougar" is written on my chest in sharpee and all the kitchen furniture is upside down...
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
Randomize
