Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
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