soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
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