We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
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