I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
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