OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
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