I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
It's like God shit irony all over that family
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
Randomize
