you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
Randomize
