Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
