please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
Randomize
