it's not cheating when I paid for it
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
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