I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
Randomize
