It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
Randomize
