Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
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