butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
Randomize
