Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
Randomize
