what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
Randomize
