So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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