it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize
