2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
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