omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
