I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize