Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
I have tasted many bathrooms
Randomize