I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
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