I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
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