my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
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