Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
Randomize
