hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
sarcasm needs its own font
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
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