thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
Fuck me I smell like cheese
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
Randomize
