the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
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