Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution.
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
Randomize
