This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
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