Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
Randomize
