He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
Randomize
