I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
Randomize
