Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
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