By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
Randomize
