You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
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