my mouth tastes like poor choices
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
Randomize
