I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize