He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
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