i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
Randomize
