Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
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