Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
is it fun? or sober?
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize
